Entering the quiet place

Today's reflection is on "entering the quiet" place... I guess the obvious place to start with this is Elijah in 1 Kings 19 - When in fear the prophet runs to the wilderness where after listening to the earthquake and the fire he hears the voice of God as a low whisper a "still small voice"... but for some reason today I'm being drawn to a different kind of silence, the one experienced by Job.  I guess it's no surprise we don't read much from Job, it aint nice!  In these consumerist days do we really want to read - IN SCRIPTURE - a story of a righteous man who feels not only let down by God's silence but "withered" and "used up"... there is no comfort for Job in the right answers and platitudes of his friends rather to him they only seem to deepen his sense of being let down, his feelings of abandonment even torture!  He accuses his friends of "lying 'to do God a service' and making up stories to "'get him off the hook'".  In all his pain and frustration he sees through their words and challenges them saying...

He'd reprimand you on the spot, if he detected a bias in your witness.  Doesn't his splendour put you in awe?  Aren't you afraid to speak cheap lies before him?  Your wise sayings are knickknack wisdom, good for nothing but gathering dust." (Chapter 13)

What I find myself pausing on are two thoughts..
1) Entering the quiet place may be as much about running out of energy to keep shouting at God as it is about a "nice" quiet place.  A few weeks ago I found myself running out of steam, feeling as if my prayers where pointless, my treatment unjust.  I reached a point when I felt I could go no further.  When it felt like the cry of our community echoed the words of Job in Chapter 14...

We're all adrift in the same boat:
  too few days, too many troubles.
We spring up like wildflowers in the desert and then wilt,
  transient as the shadow of a cloud.
Do you occupy your time with such fragile wisps?
  Why even bother hauling me into court?
There's nothing much to us to start with;
  how do you expect us to amount to anything?
Mortals have a limited life span.
  You've already decided how long we'll live—
  you set the boundary and no one can cross it.
So why not give us a break? Ease up!
  Even ditchdiggers get occasional days off.

In fact my actual prayer that night was "Give us a break"!  I felt too the injustice of Job when he looks at others and sees that, "Crooks reside in high-security houses, insolent blasphemers live in luxury" (Chapter 12)... why was their no justice?  Why did God seem to so cruel?  His friends find all sorts of reasons - Bildad says "but God IS faithful",  Zophar that "If you scrub your hands of sin... you'll look around, sit back and take it easy",  Eliphaz acuses Job or "trivialising religion" and that is is all part of God's plan. Then Bildad again calls Job selfish and self-centered and Eliphaz that he simply needs to "give in to God, come to terms with him and everything will turn out just fine"... and so it goes on.  Unsurprisingly non of this gets to the heart of where Job is.  In fact he says he simply cannot find God in all of this...

I travel east looking for him - I find no one;
then west, but not a trace;
I go north, but he's hidden his tracks;
the south, but not even a glimpse.

His great cry is "What did I do to deserve this?"  Finally, not in a still small voice but in a great storm God speaks!  (Chapter 38) He reminds Job of the wonder and design of all creation, the cosmos and the insects and everything in between... finally Job cries,

I'm speechless, in awe - words fail me.
I should never have opened my mouth!
I've talked too much, way too much.
I'm ready to shut up and listen. (Chapter 40)

I admit I once lived by rumours of you,
now I have it all first hand -- from my own eyes and ears!
I'm sorry - forgive me.  I'll never do that again, I promise!
I'll never again live on crusts of hearsay, crumbs of rumour. (Chapter 42)

I wonder if that is the point Elijah reached too, he had beaten the 400 prophets of Baal, done what he thought he could to convince Jezebel and still she wanted him dead... so perhaps feeling betrayed by God as Job did he ran.  I guess the question for me then is when all, including God seems arrayed against us to whom do we listen?  Do we listen to the "wise words" of others, telling us it shouldn't be like this, that we shouldn't think like this and that God isn't really like this?... or are we honest?  God in the end rebukes the friends, saying "You haven't been honest either with me or about me - not the way my friend Job has."  So for me the meditation today is, can I be honest, can I scream and shout at God, can I enter the quiet place not by suppressing my struggles but by running out of steam.. running out of words... running out of easy answers?  Can I get to the point when I simply dry up and have no choice but to be quiet and listen?  I guess that's not far off where I am... be patient with me Lord!

2) An after thought really, through this I've associated with Job, but I know I am often one of the friends... Lord, help me to shut my mouth and allow others  to make their own journey and to reach their own point of quiet.

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Comments

[Andrew Anderson-Gear]

Dear Mark - I can hear the pain in your words and also know something of the "run out of words" experience.

However, I wanted to say that however painful your last 2 posts have been, they have been a huge help to me. The mystery of me being blessed out of our pain

Andrew

[Mark]

Thanks Andrew, your continued support, prayer and wisdom is hugely valuable to me... thank you! & thanks for specific encouragement! One time soon when I'm down in Oxford during the day it would be good to meet up and go for a beer/coffee/food on my way back.