For God’s sake… what time is there left in my life, what space do I have, there are just so many things that pull my mind into a corner, that trap it with the concerns of a moment. What energy is left to drive anything else, the pressures that press on me are many, they may be insignificant to you but they add up to a weight that is just about all I can manage. Sometimes they get too much and I end up dropping things, Sometimes the things that fall to the ground are more important than the ones I manage to hold on to. Often letting things go ends up building a new mass upon my life even greater than before. At times I push them all aside and distract myself with things that don’t matter, but it doesn’t always help. Then you go and ask me to think about things that are way beyond my control… how on earth can I do that, it is hard enough to juggle the worries of this moment without wrestling with anything that comes before or after this present. Someone once said “life is for living”, I wish they’d had mine, mine feels more like coping than living most of the time! I guess though there is a part of me I rarely grapple with, a part that is concerned with the ‘not here’ and the ‘not now’, a part that wonders, a part that hopes, a part that reaches, a part of me that recognises something deep inside and something real outside, a part of me that needs you to be there… a part of me that just knows you are there. I guess you know that anyway, I guess that’s why you asked… perhaps you might help, perhaps you might share the burden… for God’s sake?
Technorati Tags: Mission: Poetry: Prayer: Spirituality
Comments